I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
