His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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