the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
That was an excessively violent trivia night
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
