I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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