she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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