: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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