so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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