just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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