My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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