I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
