babies were throwing up all over the place
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
