READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
