I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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