I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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