I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
