Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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