Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
