he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
