Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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