I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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