You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
