Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
