idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
