It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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