i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
