Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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