They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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