I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
