So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
