just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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