Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
