Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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