So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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