windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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