Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
