i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
