my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
