Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
