my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
