"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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