I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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