that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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