why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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