Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
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