U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
