I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
