Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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