All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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