Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
