Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
