Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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